A candy cane.A DINOSAUR EATING ME HEEEEEELP!!!

                                                                         HELLO 

Hi guys.Today was quite exciting as usual.I got a bone in the shape of a Candy cane and had a walk!!!!!!!!!!I have already emailed the news but they haven't replied.I may try by facebook or something next.Anyway,my bone is candy cane shaped!IT TASTES GOOOOOOOOD!I gave it a hug!But then it started to hyperventilate!"ARGGGGGH!!!" I screamed in terror,"WHATS WRONG?!?!?!" It passed out at this point.I had to perform surgery armed only with a toothpick!I bet your wondering what was the matter right?Okay,i will tell you but a warning first:

*PEOPLE OF SQUEAMISH NATURE SKIP THIS PART,IF YOU READ IT,DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK OF BITING YOUR FINGERS OFF AS YOU SCREAM AND FLAIL IN TERROR*

Here i go...IT STUBBED ITS TOE!!!I was horrified before i realized that it didn't have feet.Because its a candy cane.And if your sat wondering "So what if its only a candy cane?Surely they have feet too?!"
Well they cant.Cause its a candy cane. Don't be stupid.So i yelled at it "YOU MADE ME GO THROUGH ALL THAT AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE FEET???!"We are still not speaking.So for revenge for having to perform surgery with a toothpick,i ate its face.Oh well.It is just a bone.Meh -.-