Wrapping presents and hoovers.

                                                                              HELLO

Hiya everybody.I didn't do much today,apart from watching my owners do stupid stuff like "Hoovering"
and "Wrapping gifts for other human beings and dinosaurs with laser beams that come out their eye's when they wear weird headgear designed for fighting huge massive epic battles with against Deer".I don't get hoovering.I watch them wasting their time doing it and i just think "Why are you bothering to use that huge lump of metal when you could just let me lick your floor clean?" And as for wrapping presents,whats the chubb'in point?People are just going to open them again,which means you have wasted money on dumb stuff like wrapping paper and gift tags and ribbon,and you have wasted 15 minutes trying to wrap that kettle.And then when the new happy owner of said kettle receives their gift,they briefly gaze at the paper,think "Is that a curry stain on it?Or just the pattern?" then struggle to take the ribbon which you have wrapped FAR TOO TIGHTLY on,wrestle with the sellotape for 5 minutes then toss all your hard work into the bin and take their kettle home.Really?Do you now understand how ridiculous your all being over it?Right,i'm expecting you to all too be running back to the shops returning wrapping paper and gift tags (which no one actually reads cause they know exactly who its from cause you've just given it too them) Or i will be VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU FOR WASTING YOUR MONEY AND TIME WHICH YOU COULD INSTEAD BE SPENDING ON ME.